By Brooke Maree
HELP! My baby keeps falling asleep while they’re in the carrier!
Or perhaps more accurately…
My baby will only fall asleep in the carrier!
If you’re terrified that your little darling is getting set up for terrible habits and might just never sleep without being attached to you or in a carrier, please read on.
As a babywearing mum, carriers are my go-to in so many situations…
- Hands-free shopping
- Bush walking
- Walking basically anywhere
- Settling a cranky baby/toddler
- Giving cuddles when I’m busy… and…
- Inducing naps!
I did a quick Google on “napping in the carrier” and came up with so many blogs, forum posts, and even “experts” saying that napping in the carrier is a Terrible Really Bad Thing. Because you’ll teach your baby bad habits, which is basically the end of the world. And nobody wants a baby with Bad Habits.
Yikes. So have I basically screwed up my toddler for life here?
Ahhh… no.
Napping in the Carrier is Normal
It’s time to start looking at baby’s sleep differently. More realistically. Because it’s actually biologically normal for babies (and often even toddlers) to want to sleep near or on their mum or another caregiver. If you think about it, it totally makes sense.
It’s time to start looking at baby’s sleep differently. More realistically. Because it’s actually biologically normal for babies (and often even toddlers) to want to sleep near or on their mum or another caregiver. If you think about it, it totally makes sense.
Babies are born totally helpless and dependent. They can’t do ANYTHING for themselves. They depend on you for survival.
And actually, they’ve been shown to only start to understand that they are separate from their mother’s body when they’re around eight months old. So when you’re apart from them at any time, it’s like a part of them is missing. Are you crying yet? Just joking 😉
But in all seriousness, you shouldn’t be at all surprised that your baby likes to nap on you or in the carrier. Or that they seem to fall asleep more easily that way. And quite possibly don’t get too happy if you try to put them down in the cot. Because when you’re there, they know that they’re going to survive their next pang of hunger/thirst, that you’re going to protect them from the environment they’re in, and that they will stay warm and safe.
So first things first: napping in a carrier is NORMAL and definitely not bad.
Napping in the Carrier is Good
Let’s go one step further, because in my experience, not only is a good ole carrier nap a normal thing for your baby to do, it’s actually good for them and you.
Let’s start with your baby. When they’re in the carrier, as opposed to napping lying down, a whole bunch of things are happening that would otherwise not:
- Their breathing is regulated by yours (SIDS protection!)
- They can hear you and learn from what you are saying and doing
- They can keep on bonding with you
- They are less likely to develop a flat spot as they spend less time lying on a flat surface
- Your movements help them develop an awareness of their own muscles as they use them to correct their position subconsciously
But it’s really not just about the baby. Mama (and Papa!) you are super important too. And getting your baby to nap in a carrier has a whole lot of benefits for you:
- Once again, bonding! Spending that time close to your baby and noticing their cues early is going to help your relationship blossom.
- You can stop stressing about putting them to sleep – often if baby is comfortable enough in the carrier, they will naturally fall asleep on their own when they are ready.
- You can stop stressing about putting them down – avoid one of the most frustrating things you can do… spending precious time putting that baby to sleep only to have them wake up in the cot!
- Get more flexibility to your schedule. If baby naps in the carrier, you can stay out longer in environments that aren’t otherwise ideal for sleep.
- Having baby settle in the carrier might even mean a date night is on the cards… leave baby and the carrier with a grandparent, and off you go!
- Finally, when you use the carrier for day naps, especially when your little one is super small, they will stay better rested and calmer during the day, which will make getting them down at night time a lot easier (definitely true in my experience).
Babies Can’t Be Spoiled
I get the sense that part of this “bad habit” myth has really stemmed from the thought that babies who are carried a lot are spoiled. Nobody wants their child to be the one tantrumming and stomping their feet in a public place because you aren’t giving them what they want, right? And in order to avoid that situation in five years’ time, you have to be SUPER careful to not hold your baby too much. Like, you can pick them up and put them in the cot, or on the floor, or in the pram or something, but if you hold them for more than two minutes at a time, you’re basically doomed to be that parent. The one buying a lollipop for their screaming child.
Can you see how ridiculous that is?
You see, babies don’t manipulate. They only communicate their needs as best as they can. Usually by crying or clinging onto you… until they figure out speech, anyway. The fact remains that babies NEED to be held. They don’t just want it. It is super beneficial to their development and they know and demand it! Give in to their demands as much as you can. It won’t make them a terrible child or you a terrible parent. Quite the opposite 🙂
The fact remains that babies NEED to be held. They don’t just want it. It is super beneficial to their development and they know and demand it! Give in to their demands as much as you can. It won’t make them a terrible child or you a terrible parent. Quite the opposite.
So don’t be afraid of spoiling your child by letting them take naps on you or in the carrier.
Habits Will Form and Break Constantly
If you take away one thing from this article, please let it be this. Your child will form habits. And then break them. Over and over again. Usually without much input from you. It’s not so much about you, but about their development and their needs, which change constantly.
One week, they’ll be in the habit of sleeping in the carrier; the next week, they’ll all-out refuse to sleep anywhere except their cot. Or toddler bed. Or your arms. And a week or so later, it will all change again. Yep, I’m definitely speaking from experience here.
I’ve learned to try and embrace each new phase as much as I can and not fight it. Because if anyone is going to win the fight, it will be your baby 😉
Final Words & Disclaimer…
If you have one of those unicorn babies that falls asleep on their own without any drama… oh my gosh. You’re so lucky! Enjoy it. Enjoy the peace and quiet and space while they nap!
Napping in a carrier isn’t for absolutely everyone, but for most babies, it is normal, good, and in time, it too shall pass! As with everything else, it’s about listening to your instincts and following your baby’s cues.
Happy babywearing & carrier napping!
Brooke Maree is one of Australia’s leading Babywearing Educators, Co-Founder of the Australian Babywearing Association, and Country Leader of Kangatraining Australia. She is passionate about advocating for babywearing safety and best practice and seeing all parents using their baby carrier with comfort and ease. Brooke is available for personalised consultations, workshops and trainings, and on social media providing endless resources and top tips! Find out more about her services at babywearingaustralia.com.au.
